Managing Holiday Stress

The holidays, often described as the most wonderful time of the year, can also be one of the busiest, most complicated, and emotionally demanding times of the year.

There may be celebrations you’re looking forward to and people you’re excited to see. At the same time, your calendar may be packed, your normal routine may be completely off, expenses are adding up, and there always seems to be one more thing that needs your attention.

For some people, the season can also bring grief, loneliness, difficult family relationships or memories that make this time of year especially hard. You might just be tired.

If the holidays feel like a lot this year, you’re not alone. The good news is that there are ways to manage stress that protect your well-being while still making room for the parts of the holidays that matter to you.

Why Can the Holidays Feel So Stressful?

The holiday season is often an accumulation of many small demands happening at the same time, which can easily lead to feelings of stress.

Work doesn’t necessarily slow down because the holidays are approaching and regular responsibilities don’t disappear. In fact, we usually add things to our plate, like shopping, travel, school activities, celebrations, and family commitments.

There’s often an emotional layer, too. We may have expectations for how the holidays should look or feel, especially when we’re comparing them with past traditions, other people’s celebrations or the picture-perfect version of the season we see around us. Pressure increases when reality doesn’t match those expectations.

The first step toward managing holiday stress may simply be recognizing that you don’t have to do everything or make everything special.

Protect Your Time and Energy During the Holidays

A full calendar can make every activity start to feel like an obligation, even the ones you normally enjoy.

Before automatically saying yes to another event, take a moment to look at what else is already on your plate. If attending means rushing from one commitment to another or leaving yourself exhausted for the next day, it’s okay to decline.

You can also look for opportunities to create breathing room between commitments. Leave an evening open after a particularly busy day. Give yourself extra time around travel. Protect a weekend morning with no plans at all.

Think of your energy as something you need to budget, just like your money. Know which activities give you energy and which take a bit out of you. Your holiday calendar needs room for both the plans that matter to you and the recovery time that helps you enjoy them.

Set Holiday Expectations That Actually Work for You

Expectations can be one of the biggest sources of holiday stress. While expectations help motivate us to certain actions and experiences, the gap between a vision and reality can lead to disappointment and anxiety.

Holiday expectations are particularly hard, set against a backdrop of media and Hollywood backdrop. It’s okay to have hopes and wishes. Be sure to ask yourself what you genuinely want to preserve this year and what you’re maintaining mostly out of habit or obligation. Set expectations that are realistic and within your control.

Manage Financial Stress Before It Builds

Holiday spending can add another layer of pressure. Trying to match what you’ve spent in previous years or what other people appear to be spending can worsen stress and anxiety.

Try deciding what you’re comfortable spending before the season starts. Think about gifts as well as smaller expenses that are easier to overlook. When the budget says stop, let it stop. Remember that there are plenty of ways to show someone you care without spending more than you’re comfortable with. Financial boundaries are boundaries, too.

Give Yourself Permission to Set Boundaries

The holidays often bring people together, which can be wonderful, but they can also put us back into relationships or situations that feel complicated.

You may encounter questions you don’t want to answer, conversations you’d rather not have. People may confront you with their own expectations about you and the holiday.

You are allowed to have limits. Try setting these simple and non-confrontational boundaries:

• “We’re going to head home a little earlier this year.”
• “I’d rather not get into that today.”
• “We won’t be able to make it this time, but thank you for inviting us.”
• “I can help with that, but I can’t take on the whole thing.”

You don’t need a lengthy explanation for every limit you set. Clear and kind is enough.

Keep a Few Parts of Your Normal Routine

When schedules change, routines are often the first things to disappear. Bedtimes get later, meals happen at odd hours, exercise gets pushed aside, and quiet time becomes harder to find.

It is likely unrealistic that you’ll be able to maintain your everyday routine perfectly throughout the holidays. So try to identify the few things that help you feel most grounded.

Whether that’s getting enough sleep or taking a morning walk, those ordinary parts of your routine can feel especially valuable when everything else feels different.

Have a Plan for Stressful Moments

Sometimes stress builds gradually. Other times, you can feel your patience disappear suddenly in the middle of a crowded room. When that happens, try doing something small that interrupts the moment. It can be helpful to set a plan ahead of time.

Take a few slow breaths, step outside, or get a glass of water. You find a quieter room for a few minutes. Find the stressor and ask yourself what is in your control. Bringing your attention back to something that is manageable can help quiet some of the mental noise that comes from trying to solve everything at once.

Make Space for Difficult Emotions During the Holidays

Not everyone experiences the holidays as an uncomplicated time of celebration.

Grief can feel especially present. Family relationships may be strained. Changes in health, work, finances or relationships can make the season look very different than it once did. Seeing other people’s celebrations can sometimes magnify what’s missing from your own.

You don’t need to force those feelings away to participate in the holidays. Holding room for complicated feelings also opens room for joy. It is possible to enjoy a tradition and miss someone, to be grateful for people around you and feel lonely, or to look forward to parts of the season while wishing other parts were already over.

Give yourself room for the holiday you’re actually experiencing, not the one you think you’re supposed to be having. If stress, sadness, or anxiety starts feeling difficult to manage on your own, reaching out for support is a sign that you’re taking care of yourself, not that you’ve failed at handling the holidays.

Focus on What You Want to Remember

There’s always another thing you could do during the holidays and that list can be never-ending. At some point, more isn’t necessarily better.

Think about what you hope you’ll remember when the season is over. It probably won’t be whether every detail went according to plan. Let those meaningful, imperfect moments count. Remember that taking care of yourself doesn’t take away from the people around you. It can help you be more present for the parts of the season you actually want to experience.

You don’t have to make the most of every moment. Just make a little more room for the moments that matter to you. The holidays will start to feel a little less stressful and little more meaningful.